I've done journaling before; for years, in fact. There is nothing like a blank piece of paper to pour out and organize my thoughts before God. I have countless spiral bound journals sitting on my shelf that chronicle the many sins and the Mighty Savior I have experienced since 5th grade, when Mom gave me an "Anne of Green Gables" journal. (Confession: I REALLY don't like that book, but I did love that journal.) I learned that sometimes it is easier to cry out to God on paper (rather than in my jumbled up head) and there is wisdom to be gained in retaining those heart-cries to review later. How many times have I gone through yet another bout with despair, only to pull open one of those spiral bound journals and see the Faithful Hand of Jesus leading me through? Journaling is useful.
Then one would wonder, why switch to a blog if paper works so well? And I believe I would answer: Novelty. Blogging isn't exactly "new" to me. I had a blog on Xanga (does anybody remember Xanga?) back when everybody and their grandmother had a blog, a Myspace account, a thick-chunky-1-gig iPod, and only college students could get on Facebook. But, I have not blogged in a long time and there is something novel about typing out my journals rather than writing them. I think that novelty can be used for good. It is a jump-start, a fresh perspective, and believe me, I need one. I am hoping (and greatly praying) that God will use this little blog to help me get back to a place of worshipful daily dependence on Him, and that, if any one reads this, they would gain from my experience.
I end this first entry with "Jesus, My Glory" from The Valley of Vision, that wonderful journal of Puritan saints.
Oh Lord God
Thou hast commanded me to believe in Jesus and I would fly to no other refuge,
Wash in no other fountain, build on no other foundation, receive from no other fullness, rest in no other relief.
His water and blood were not severed in their flow at the cross, may they never be separated in my creed and experience.
May I be equally convinced of the guilt and pollution of my sin, feel my need of a prince and a savior, implore of Him repentance as well as forgiveness, love His holiness, be pure in heart, have the mind of Jesus and tread in His steps.
Let me not be at my own disposal, but rejoice that I am under the care of One who is too wise to err, to kind to injure, to tender to crush.
May I scandalize none by my temper and my conduct but recommend and endear Christ to all around, bestow good on every one as circumstances permit, and decline no opportunity of usefulness.
Grant that I may value my substance, not as the medium of pride and luxury, but as the means of my support and stewardship.
Help me to guide my affections with discretion, to owe no man anything, to be able to give to him that needeth, to feel it my duty and pleasure to be merciful and to show the world the likeness of Jesus.