In All Circumstances

She Reads Truth: Give Thanks, Day 6

The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in His way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand.  I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread.  He is ever lending generously, and his children become a blessing. 

~Psalm37:23-26

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."  So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?"

~Hebrews13:5-6 

Gracious God,

Thank you that you are the provider of my every need. Even though we may, from time to time, experience a tightness in our finances, you still bless us abundantly. We have never lacked. We can give generously. There is no physical thing that we are in need of. And even the non-physical: friendships, guidance, love, health, these too, you provide. 

You have always been faithful in the past and I can trust you to be faithful in the future. You are a faithful God. 

Lord, help me to store up evidence of your grace and goodness now for the days when I am struggling to trust you. Help me to remember to be thankful in all my circumstances because you never leave me nor forsake me. And therefore, I should not be afraid. 

Oh Lord, you care for all the earth

The flowers and the birds

You provide their daily bread

How much more you have cared for me

You met my greatest need

When Christ hung on the tree

So I know that you'll provide for me

So God, I trust in you

I trust in you, I trust in you

In whatever I must face,

I will trust your sovereign grace

I will always trust in you

Oh Lord, when all my hopes and plans

Are taken from my hands

And I cannot see the way

I will rest in your sovereign plan

And bless your gracious hand

I know your promise stands

That I'll see your goodness in this land

So God, I trust in you

I trust in you, I trust in you

In whatever I must face

I will trust your sovereign grace

I will always trust in you

~Stephen Altrogee

There's a Fountain

She Reads Truth: Give Thanks, Day 5

Think how much grace one saint requires, so much that nothing but the Infinite could supply him for one day; and yet the Lord spreads his table, not for one, but many saints, not for one day, but for many years; not for many years only, but for generation after generation.”
–C.H. Spurgeon, Morning & Evening

Jehovah-Jireh,

The Lord who Provides for us, and provides in abundance. I never lack anything. Not food, nor shelter, nor health, nor family. Not grace, nor strength, nor the Holy Spirit's presence. In Christ, in Jesus, I have access to a limitless, inexhaustible, never ending fountain that flows and flows and flows over me. 

Thank you, God, that your love never fails, that you are an unending source I can draw and draw and draw upon and you never run dry. The cattle on a thousand hills are yours and you own the hills too. Your riches are uncountable, your greatness is unfathomable, your grace is inexhaustible, your mercy is unfailing, your love is limitless, your glory is matchless, your word is true, your promises are unchanging. You never falter, you never fail, you never run dry, you never end. And you invite me, call me, command me, to come and drink my fill, to know you, to lean on you, to trust you, to hold you, to love you, to take of you, and give myself to you. 

Lord Jesus you have offered me a treasure trove of soul satisfying in knowing you and being called by your name. You have stripped away all the sin and born away all the punishment that would keep me from you. Holy Spirit you have opened up my eyes, and changed my taste, to see you, to hunger after you, to love you and run ever onward, following my God. Abba Father, you are all I want and all I need and you offer yourself to me freely. You are beautiful and glorious and wonderful and powerful and soul satisfying and rich and all I want is all of you.

There's a treasure great in beauty far surpassing earth's great wealth

He is Jesus, prince of glory, source of all grace, peace and health

There's a fountain ever flowing, satisfying all who drink

He is Jesus, spring of joy to all who hail him as their king

There's a power, holy power, breaking bonds of captive men

He is Jesus, mighty Jesus, holy warrior and sinners friend

There's a savior rich in mercy, quick to pardon all my sin

He is Jesus, great redeemer, reconciling God and men

There's a glorious Lord returning and all will bow to him alone

He is Jesus, king of nations reigning from his gracious throne

There is one to whom our praises will through every age ascend

He is Jesus, king forever, whose wonderous rule will never end

~Stephen Altrogee 

Peace

She Reads Truth: Give Thanks, Day 4

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

~John14:27

... The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

~Philippians4:5-7

peace

 [pees] noun, :: freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, anobsession, etc.; tranquillity; serenity.

Abba Father,

You are the giver of peace, the freedom of all anxiety and worry. You call for trust and the cessation of my war with the universe. 

I am finite in everything, my strength, my knowledge, my future, my family, all that I am in contact with is massively overwhelmingly bigger than me. I am at war with time, with sickness, with my child, with other people, with money, with my to do list, with politics, everything around me takes all of me and consumes my mind. And I am anxious over many things. 

But The Lord, my Lord, is at hand. 

Against all my strife and anxiety and worry and above all the areas that I am finite, Jesus stands infinite. You are all strength, all knowledge, all knowing and all seeing; you are The Lord of History and king of ages. You work all things for good. You hold me. You love me. You promise hope and joy and salvation. And you offer me peace. 

"Cast your burdens, Daughter. Cast them on me. I can carry them all." 

"But what about my son, my husband, my health, my future, my family, my to do list, my safety, my ... "

"Hannah, Hannah, you are worried and anxious over many things. But only one thing is necessary." 

One thing: I have peace with God because Jesus stopped all hostility, paid all my debts, satisfied all of God's wrath, and begot restoration. And because I have peace with God, I can have the peace of God. I can cast all my burdens, all my worries, all my anxieties, on Him, because He cares for me. 

You care for me, Lord. You give me peace. And I can cast all, everything I have and don't have and worry about and fight for and fight with, I can cast all on You. With thanksgiving! Thanksgiving! With joy! With the delight of a free woman! No more chains, no more weights on my soul, no more fears holding me down. You have given me peace. It is well with my soul. 

When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like seabillows roll

Whatever my lot, you have taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul

Though Satan should buffet, though trial should come

Let this blest assurance control

That Christ has regarded my helpless estate

And He shed His own blood for my soul

You have made it well with my soul

To this blissful trust I will hold

You looked upon my helplessness

My dispondant state, my circumstance

And you have made it well with my soul

My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought,

My sin, not the part but the whole,

Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more

Praise The Lord! Praise The Lord Oh my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight

The clouds be rolled back like a scroll

The trumpet shall sound, and my Lord shall descend

Even so it is well with my soul!

You have made it well with my soul

To this blissful trust I will hold

You looked upon my helplessness,

My despondent state, my circumstance

And you have made it well with my soul

With my soul!

~by Horatio Spafford, add'l words by Chris Flannigan

Never Cast Out

She Reads Truth: Give Thanks, Day 2

Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe. All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day."  ~John6:35-40

Lord God,

You have so many reasons to cast me out. So many times I have spurned your grace. So many times I have transgressed your law. So many times I have said "Never again!" only to do it again. So many times I have turned away from you. So many times I have failed to do what you command. So many times I have grieved the Spirit, and put anything and everything ahead of you. 

And yet. 

Here stands Jesus, arms outstretched, hands wounded with my sin, saying "I will never you cast out!" 

Lord Jesus, I come to you, full of filth and misery. I come weak. I come with little faith and much sin. I come willing now to follow you, but with little expectation of my heart remaining in the right place. But I come with a promise that you will rescue and save and keep and sustain me and on the last day you will raise me up. 

Please forgive me of my sin, make me righteous in your eyes.

From whence this fear and unbelief?

Hath not the Father put to grief

His spotless Son for me?

And could the righteous Judge of men

Condemn me for a debt of sin,

Which, Lord, was charged to thee?

Complete atonement Thou hath made

And to the utmost farthing paid

The debt Thy people owed. 

No more can wrath on me take place,

When sheltered in Thy righteousness

And sprinkled with Thy blood. 

Turn then, my soul, and know this peace:

The merits of thy Great High Priest

Have bought thee liberty!

Trust in His effecacious blood,

And fear no banishment from God,

For Jesus set me free!

Jesus, all my trust is in You, Lord!

Jesus, You ransomed us through Your great love!

How sweet the sound of saving grace

How sweet the sound of saving grace

Christ died for me! 

How sweet the sound of saving grace

How sweet the sound of saving grace

Christ died for me!

Jesus, all my trust is in You, Lord

Jesus, You ransomed us through Your great love! 

~original verses by Agustus Toplady, add'l words by Doug Plank

Guilt and the Gospel

Last night, something happened to me on the way home from a women's study on Marriage.  It was something I prided myself on never having happened to me before.  It was something that will affect just about everything I do for the next few months.

I got a speeding ticket.

Like, a 19 mph over the limit speeding ticket.

Like, I'm going to have to appear before a judge in traffic court speeding ticket.

It was not a fun experience.  <--understatement of the century.

I was going down the hill, turning the corner, and using the momentum of the downward slope to help get me up to speed on the other side.  I was rushing to get home.  I wasn't paying attention to the speed change.  And I got pulled.  I saw the police car pull out behind me and thought "$@%#% I'm going to get pulled."  And sure enough, blue lights flashed on, I pulled over, and the officer, who was as polite and business like as ever, handed me the speeding citation.  I was expecting a fine and points on my drivers license.

I was not expecting a barrage of guilt.

How could you be so stupid? How are we going to pay for this ticket? How are we going to afford the jump in insurance? How are you going to face your husband? How could you? How could you? How could you?

All the way home, and on the couch, explaining what happened to J, the guilt kept coming.  And not just for that incident, but every time I've ever sped, every stop sign I've rolled through, every yellow-to-red light I've run, and every single time I have ever gotten angry at a motorist in front of me who was obeying the speed limit and not driving as fast as I want them to drive.  All my infractions kept mounting before me and I kept listing in my head all the problems that are caused by this one little ticket.

Guilt, my dear friends, can be a wonderful tool in the hands of God because it drives us to the cross.  Guilt makes us know just how far we have fallen short, how much we deserve this punishment, how greatly we have sinned.  And when guilt is followed quickly by the Gospel, it can turn into gratitude. But guilt can also be used by Satan to accuse us, to condemn us, to make us doubt God's mercy and blood-bought acceptance.  Guilt, when allowed to fester, can turn into condemnation.

So as I laid down on the heating pad on the couch (oh the joys of being 7 months pregnant), and J and I formed a plan of what to do at my court hearing in two months, I let guilt begin to fester in my heart.  I did not preach the Gospel to my self because I thought "This is a state matter, I did not break the law of God so the Grace of God cannot fix this.  I have to live under the shame of my wrong doing for the next two months until I can go to the courthouse and fix it myself."  Exhausted and ashamed, I went to bed.

Morning brought the alarm clock and the first thought that popped into my head was "SPEEDING TICKET" and in rushed the shame and condemnation, the accusing thoughts, and the guilt of what I had done.  But it was different this time, because what followed at the heels of the ticket was not a litany of traffic violations, but one of all the times I had transgressed before God.  Every time in the last two to three days I had been angry or proud or selfish or lustful; evil thoughts, hurtful words, unkindness, judgmental attitudes, all piled up before me and I saw with more clarity than I ever have before that all rule breaking is a sin against God.

But it is a sin that was paid for.

Jesus died for my traffic ticket.  Do you know how revolutionary that is? I do not have to suffer a weight of condemnation because of what I had done.  Jesus died for that.  And every time I have ever broken a rule and DIDN'T get caught, Jesus died for that too.  Every evil thought, every petty crime, every instance that I was not punished by the laws of men, I would have to stand guilty and condemned for that before the Father, the great Judge of all the Erth.  But I had a Savior who stood in my place, who took that shame, that punishment, that wrath, so I could escape.

And there is therefore now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 5:1

This is the beauty of the Gospel.  Whatever punishment or fines or trouble I have to endure because of this ticket are so minor in the face of what Jesus did for me they are almost laughable.  I have escaped from an eternal weight of wrath and into an eternal weight of glory and nothing I can do can drag me out from under the Grace of God.  I am free.  No more guilt.  No more condemnation.  No more punishment.  Jesus paid it all.  Oh how my heart sings!

My guilt has turned to gratitude.  That is the power of the gospel.

Daylight Savings Time

For those who know me, this will not come as much of a shock: I HATE Daylight Savings Time.  Like, with a passion.  I understand that there was a point in time when adjusting the working clock to enable factory employees daylight hours to garden seemed like a sensible thing to do.  But that time has LONG passed.  A majority of Americans don't need that extra time, or they work from home, or their working schedule is flexible.  The time change lasts a period of 8 months (Mid-March to Mid-November), much longer than the seasonal light and the traditional vernal to autumnal equinox period.  Energy is wasted cooling houses (especially in the south) for longer evening hours in the summer and for lighting dark rooms in the spring and fall mornings.  There are even studies out that show a dramatic increase in accidents the Monday following the time loss with no correlating increase in safety after the time gain.  I could go on and on and on about damaging effects that happen on other people.  For me personally, though, it's really hard to adjust my sleep schedule and takes me about a full week each time we have to do the DST change. 
I don't like it at all.
And don't start on the "I bet you love gaining an hour in the fall" bit.  'Cause I don't.  It messes up my sleep schedule for another full week and leaves me feeling in the lurch. 
I
Hate
DST.

Terrible, thanks for asking.
This vile loathing was made worse this morning by the fact that my iPod alarm clock for whatever reason set itself forward ANOTHER HOUR last night after it had already set itself forward an hour Saturday night.  So when my alarm went off this morning at 6:30 and I showered, dressed, got breakfast made and lunch packed, I looked up at the kitchen clock (an old manual one I had already changed over Sunday morning) and realized that my alarm really went off at 5:30 this morning. 
I had lost ANOTHER hour of sleep. 
And this morning I was dragging.  Work was lurchy.  I was hungry all day.  I couldn't think straight.  It was terrible. 
And it's really hard to be thankful for a computer glitch that caused me to lose an hour of sleep after the US Congress already made me lose an hour of sleep. 
But on the radio this morning, KLOVE started playing this:

It's Chris Tomlin's new song "I need You"
Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the one that guides my heart
 
Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Yes where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
So teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

And I was so overwhelmed by my weakness and my dependency on God and His Strength.  I need Him every hour, but I really need Him today.  When I am tired and weary and bitter towards my circumstances, I need Him. 

My One Defense, My Righteousness, Oh God, how I need YOU!

Registering for a Thankful Heart

A long time ago (beginning of January) in a galaxy far, far away.........in a place called my In-Laws House, my wonderful, kind, sweet, could-not-ask-for-a-better-one Mother-in-law, K, asked how my baby registry was going.
Insert theme from Psycho here
Baby registry? As in baby STUFF?!? As in, OHEMGEE IM GONNA BE A MOMMY AND ALL I HAVE RIGHT NOW ARE SIX PAIRS OF BABY SOCKS AND A STAR TREK BABY SPOON!!!!!!  This led to me furiously reading countless blogs to try and figure out what, out of the myriad of baby things, I needed for Baby R.  And then I pretty much panicked and went into denial.
Oh a registry? Yes, I suppose that is a good thing....and I'll get around to it..................sometime before June.  I hope.
Fast forward to mid February, me getting horribly throwyuppy sick, staying home and flat on my back for nearly 48 hours and getting cabin fever.  J suggested we at least go out to get one of those big fluffy body pillows (best invention since the mattress) and, since we were out, let's at least look at some baby stuff.  So we went to this store called Buy Buy Baby, which is essentially Bed, Bath, & Beyond, for babies.  The store is laid out exactly the same.  Some of the items are the same.  It was weird and strange and wonderful all at once.  But because it was not located all that centrally or conveniently to, like, anybody, we didn't register there.  But we did look.  And, me oh my, is there a lot of baby crap.  Oy vey!
Since then, I have been cobbling together two registries at Tarjhay and BabiesRThem, trying to stick to the bare necessities.  Washcloths, stroller, car seat, baby towels, changing pad, thermometer, grooming kit, thinking everything else I can thrift or borrow and good grief, new stuff is expensive! And the last thing that I want is to create this big huge list of expensive stuff for a little baby who will use it for a maximum of a year when I can buy gently used items for a tenth of the cost.
And then J got a call from his mum: You don't have enough stuff on the registry.
What do you say to that? I'm sorry, but I don't need your generosity because I'm a self sufficient proud woman who can make due with what she's got? Or, the slightly more humble version: Oh, but we don't want to be a burden on anyone.  Or, I don't want to take advantage of the generosity of my friends and family members by expecting to receive anything.  All of which are truly what ran through my head and what I have been wrestling with the last two days.
The problem with registries is that it can easily turn me into a greedy gimme pig.  And I don't want to be.  I want to be grateful for and content with what I have.  I want people to have the freedom to not buy the baby anything, or buy things that don't come from a predetermined list.
After much angst, J took me aside and said something to the affect of: Creating a registry doesn't mean you're forcing anyone to purchase anything from it and many people find registries helpful.  He also reminded me that this is how his family blesses others and that we don't have to register for super expensive things and that yes we will be grateful for what we receive and not expect to receive anything.
I was caught in a place between my pride and others generosity. I wanted to provide for my baby myself, and only rely on others for a few things. And rather than letting me have my own way only to realize, struggling, how much help I actually need, God gently taught me this by blessing me with abundance, with generous hearts of those around me. For "What do you have that you have not received?" (1 Corinthians 4:7) Nothing. Everything is a gift, a perfectly ordained gift from the hand of my Lavish Father.
And I am so grateful.
I am grateful for how God exposed my sin of self sufficiency and for how He taught me thankfulness.
Today, I am thankful for:
My Baby, kicking up a storm
My blood parents and my love parents, for their giving hearts
My husband, for how he gently leads me
My God, who always knows and always acts for my good.
Oh, how He loves me, oh, oh, how He loves me, how He loves me, oh.

Today, I am ...

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

Today, I am rejoicing because

1. There is a Savior, rich in mercy, quick to pardon all my sins
2. God my Father is in control of all things

     3. This Video:   

Today I am praying for:

1. Sarah at work, who got what I had and is feeling blechky
2. Baby Reeves would keep growing and be safe and healthy
3. My 20 week appointment tomorrow--that I would know what questions to ask and have the wisdom and mindfulness to process it all.
4. Kindness 
5. Peace
6. Patience
7. That J would have energy enough to balance the end of Winter Sports and the beginning of Spring Sports and that he would NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT (Please Father God) not get sick. 

Today, I am thankful for (in no particular order)

1. I am over the horrible stomach flu thingy I got late Thursday night.  
2. I didn't have to go to the hospital/doctor's office because of the horrible stomach flu thingy.
3. Baby Reeves kicking Mommy's stomach every time I vomited, as it let me know s/he is safe and still alive (though probably unhappy about my sorry state of affairs)
4. An amazing husband who let me lay on the couch pretty much all weekend and be sick.  
5. Starting a baby registry  
6. Dear friends who keep me from being overwhelmed by baby stuff.  
7. Church on Sunday
8. Grandma coming home safe from the hospital 
9. Rain falling, even on a Monday

And Be Thankful

I was reading in my new favorite blog, Kate & Kuby (more on them later) about the best way to fight worldliness is with thankfulness.  And I realized that so much of my day is filled with bitterness, grumpiness, sourness, and anger rather than joy, peace, kindness, and love.  But how easily my attitude changes when I begin to focus on things that I am thankful for.

This might be why Paul mentions thankfulness three times in his Colossians 3:12-21 passage on characteristics we should put on.  More than any other attribute, Christians should be thankful.  

Oh Lord, please help my heart to change from complaining about everything to rejoicing always and giving thanks in all circumstances.  Remind me how much I have been given.  And help me find joy in You and what you have done.